Abusive Terms, Sayings, Responses

Verbal abuse is damaging, whether people feel like it's less harmless than physical abuse. Both types can have detrimental effects on anyone, they can come in the form of bullying, arguing, domestic violence, and more recently cyber-bullying.

I'm not so sure if I can say people today have become desensitized or simply unconcerned, but abusive language is so normalized in the way people communicate, sometimes you may not even notice it and why it may be abusive.

Have you ever been in, heard, or seen a discussion about something upsetting, where the end result (or expected result) is a predictable comment? Think about it:

Don't shoot the messenger.
Why are you surprised?
There's truth to stereotypes!

Notice anything? All of these quotes have one thing in common—they are dismissive. These are just a few of the many responses people may get usually in a serious conversation, and people don't even see why it's not the right response.

Like, this study is really racist! Don't shoot the messenger.
Wow, can't believe they'd say that? Why are you surprised?
Why is that the only assumption you make? There's truth to stereotypes!

Over the years I've realized while online discourse can be thought provoking, enlightening, and eye opening, it also invites room for abusive people to find victims to attack and silence. It's probably the reason why I've shied away from talking about certain subjects because I just won't engage with people unwilling to see things from a certain viewpoint.

As an adult I've had to teach myself to unlearn these sayings and correct myself too. It's just a step forward in improving my interactions with people, especially younger people.

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Image from OVCA

This month is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. Ovarian cancer is cancer in the ovaries. It is one of the most invasive reproductive cancers, and it takes more lives than any other gynecological cancer.

It ranks fifth as the most cancerous death in women. The American Cancer Society (ACS) estimates that in 2013 there will be over 20,000 new cases of ovarian cancer. The risks for this type of cancer are high and it’s usually detected in older age. Which is why it’s important to raise awareness and be conscious of its risks the earliest.

I wrote more about it. Read more.

Wear Sunscreen for this Summer

Image courtesy of bulldogza / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

May is Melanoma and Skin Cancer Detection and Prevention month. Although I have a dark skin complexion, and people with darker skin don't commonly get skin cancer at high rates, the likelihood is still there and regardless, anyone can be diagnosed with skin cancer. And it was only recently I learned all of this.

Melanoma is the most dangerous skin cancer that exists, and thousands of people die from it every year. Health professionals say the best way to prevent melanoma is to stay out of the sun when you can and wear sunscreen, particularly ones that are labeled broad spectrum, which specially protects against UVA and UVB rays. This was brand new to me, because I never really put much thought into protecting my skin from the sun. During the summer, I'm always out in the sun and I never thought once about putting my skin in danger, and I've never gotten a sunburn. I just took in the sun for as long as I was out in it—no protection.

But this coming summer I'll be traveling a lot, and now that I'm aware of the risks, I'll need to get some sunscreen.

I bought my first sunscreen last year and it was in the form of a moisturizer. It was Ambi's facial moisturizer, and I didn't even know it was also a sunscreen until I saw the description one day. It had a sun protection factor (SPF) of 15 (recommended for dark skin) and moisturizes your skin. Although it effectively works for what it says it does (and smells amazing too), I'm careful with it around my eyes, and that's the only downside with that product for me. I would still recommend it for anyone to use however. It's not sticky like I've heard other sunscreens are, and it's very light. But unless you'll be wearing long-sleeved tops, you'll need a higher SPF product.

Someone recommended that I use Aveeno's sunscreens which I look forward to buying. I use a lot of Aveeno products for my skin already, so I'm hopeful I like their sunscreen. But I researched several other sunscreens from various brands, and there is lots to choose from. Lots!

Here are some quick tips for sunscreen shopping: (1) figure out how easily you sunburn (2) how long you may be in the sun (3) what SPF you'll need (4) what it protects against (e.g. UVA/UVB) and lastly the brand. According to the Skin Cancer Foundation if you sunburn after 20 minutes in the sun without the use of sunscreen, wearing an SPF 15 will protect you from sun exposure 15x's longer, or for 5 hours. The lighter your skin, the higher the SPF you're recommended to wear. So don't neglect to wear it.

Protect your skin this summer! 

Read more about Melanoma and prevention tips.