For those in communities of color around the world, you may be familiar with the literal color division that exists in many of your respected cultures or communities. Whether you're from Brazil, Jamaica, Ivory Coast, Kenya, Egypt, Indonesia, Thailand or India, you are somewhat aware that there are certain skin colors that are preferred over another, while another skin color is seen as less than. Lighter skin trumps darker skin any day of the week. Historically so as well.
This topic doesn't need to be extensively researched to receive an idea. Many people point to European colonization as the start of skin superiority in non-White countries. The African continent in particular.
The Atlantic Slave trade had a huge impact on the Western part of the world. It also had an impact on those people (slaves) who would be transported out of their homelands never to return again (with the exceptions of a few), as well the ones that remained.
My skin color is dark brown, or what others call dark-skinned. I can't think of a time where I felt extremely insecure about my skin color.I have felt insecure about my skin, but not it's dark brown complexion. Never.
For some other Black women, they have been unfortunate to have experienced what I didn't. There are women who feel bad about the color of their skin and herein lies the tragedy. This subject is not one to just brush over, because brushing it off doesn't solve anything and the issue will continue to persist. It is a subject that brings out a lot of pain and hurt for some, which is why some discussions can get intense.
If only there wasn't so much hurt deep rooted in this subject.
For some other Black women, they have been unfortunate to have experienced what I didn't. There are women who feel bad about the color of their skin and herein lies the tragedy. This subject is not one to just brush over, because brushing it off doesn't solve anything and the issue will continue to persist. It is a subject that brings out a lot of pain and hurt for some, which is why some discussions can get intense.
If only there wasn't so much hurt deep rooted in this subject.
Light Skin or Dark Skin? Which is better?
The politically correct answer of today would say that "no skin color is better than the other" (yawn) and "everyone is equal, beauty is within" blah blah blah. This is all lies. Whether one truly believes in those statements, they would be kidding themselves to say that there isn't an overwhelming preference for one, they'd be kidding themselves to say that there is no positive associations connected to one color, and no negative associations for another. And they'd be lying out their ass if they said skin color just doesn't matter.
For example, picture the at the poorest countries of the world? And then picture the richest countries of the world? Think about that, and take the correlation into account (on average).
Being that I am Black and have grown up mostly around other Black people, I am going to speak about my observations from that perspective.
This Is a Man's World
This Is a Man's World
Men have a higher status than women in this world, they control pretty much everything. White people have a higher status in this world and lighter skin has a valued higher in this world, as it correlates with White value; and having wealth gives you a higher value. For this reason, I think this is why for Black women this subject is a lose-lose either way you look at it. Black women are some of the darkest women on the planet. In a world where women are seen as weaker than men and where Black people are seen as inferior, it's no wonder why Black women seem to deal with the complexion issue the most.
However I feel like some Black women have taken their color issues too far and have even pushed their insecurities onto others. Men who favor lighter-skin women over dark are not rare. In fact you may think they are abundant, so much that you'll say lighter women have a lot of options in male partners. Men who like lighter women tend to be very vocal in their admiration for them and they are lauded for it. Men who like darker women aren't as vocal and they aren't necessarily downed for what they like, but they sure aren't lauded. This triggers insecurity in some dark women and the stereotype that 'dark women (or Black) are angry' is exposed in some of their attitudes. Stories of light women having to deal with nasty looks, rude attitudes at the hands of darker women are not hard to find. Society devalues dark women, and if they are surrounded by friends, family or people in general who feel the same way, they may feel even worse about themselves. In turn, they mistreat people who they feel are a threat to them. So the stereotype as well as the other factors that contribute to it are not false.
All dark women feel this way though, not all of them hate women who are lighter in skin color, not all of them get upset at men who like light women and certainly, not all of them are insecure about their skin color.
Whether society decides either today, tomorrow, in 10 years or even in 50 years wants to equally respect every skin color across the spectrum, I still feel that the darker colors of the spectrum will still not be seen the same as lighter colors. I've read article after article, and have watched numerous videos about the skin color issue among Black women (or people) and I doubt any of it will be solved in due time. Darker skin has been devalued for years, and society goes along with it. The same amount of time it took to devalue dark skin, and associate it with negativity, means that it will take the same amount of time to remove the damage that has been done. But can damage, that has plagued groups of people for hundreds of years, through generations in their families ever be truly erased? From women not being able to get a date, find a husband, skin bleaching, running from the sun, not wearing bright colors, etc? This goes very deep.
Whenever I hear about the light vs. dark subject, I always wonder why no one ever brings up a solution? Dark women need special avenues for their beauty, because many feel they underrepresented. And not only they are underrepresented they seem to carry the burden of many negative stereotypes.
What can be done? I'm not an expert, but here are some tips I feel can help one 'get over it'
1. Power
No one has power over you unless you allow it. No one can tell you anything about yourself, unless you feel that way about yourself also. If you allow someones opinion of you to affect your self-esteem and well being, then you have no one else to blame but yourself. No matter how much some like to point how the "media" avoids portraying darker women as beautiful, positive women the power to believe is in you. They are not going to show you what you want. There's a formula in place and it's up to people to take it how they want.
Darker women give power to 'dark' haters, by falling in line. You give power to those that don't like you because you show it. You show them, that their preference bothers you. You show it in your attitude, you show it in your appearance and you show it in your personality. This can be solved once you realize that a certain percentage of the population will never respect you at the same level as they do with lighter women. Let's flip this to race for a sec; White women will always be seen as the ultimate, ideal woman over non-White woman. Non-White women who can 'pass' or fall in line with the standard are the exception.
Maybe one day society will change. It's not going to happen overnight. All I hope darker women can do is block out all the negative people in your lives. If you have to stop watching certain shows, movies, etc; do that. If you have to even stop watching TV, go ahead. Anything you feel that is negatively affecting your self esteem, remove it from your life.
2. Worth
Remember you worth. The world is cruel and if you don't know your worth and feel you have no value, you make it easy for others to win you over. Always remember that you are worthy of respect, love and honor. You are in this world for a reason. You are alive and going about your life like everyone else. You are here because you deserve to be here, so don't let anyone try to bring you down. Once you know your worth, nothing and no one can tell you otherwise.
3. Love
Love is important, everyone has someone they love or care deeply about. Why are else are people after it so much? Surround yourself with people you love and be sure it's reciprocated. When you are with people who love you, you are reminded that you are important to someone. Even if you're feeling like the world out there hates you, all of that can't be stronger than the love you can receive from close friends and family.
4. Challenge
People today are lemmings. Sometimes they are even afraid to admit so. No one wants to challenge the status quo placed by society. Do you know how fucked up the world would be if no one ever challenged another?
If someone tells you something that is complete horseshit in your eyes, challenge it. Just because society acts or says one thing, does not mean you have to do the same. We all have minds of our own, use it.
5. Love yourself
No one can love you better, like you can. Simply said.
Enjoy Life.
