Welcome to the Dollhouse: Film Review

Welcome to the Dollhouse poster

Recently I wrote about 3 Coming-of-Age Indie films I'd recommend for viewing, specifically for women to watch. You can read the brief reviews here.

One of the films I recommended was Welcome to the Dollhouse, an eye-opening film remarking on bullying and abuse. I've interpreted the film quite differently over the years. It's a classic fave of mine and I detail how I now view the film. First, here's a brief summary:

This dark comedy [...] was one of the many great indie films of the ’90s. This film is probably the most memorable indie film I enjoyed as a pre-teen. While some of the dialogue in this film may be deemed disturbing, especially given the age I saw it, I was rather intrigued than terrified. I was also very sympathetic to the main character, Dawn. The film vividly shows some of the most cruel bullying that takes place in American schools, and how that affected Dawn in school and at home. Dawn’s awkwardness is something many of us could relate to growing up, and you may even see yourself through the relentless verbal and physical abuse she faces. As the reality of her miserable life ensues throughout the film, one of her tormentors, who is a troubled boy, makes way into her life. The troubled kid somehow gives her a different outlook and takes a romantic interest in her, even as she crushes on Steve, an older guy friend she wishes to run away with. The film also proficiently tackles the bullying that can take place in the home from the parents. I’ve seen this film plenty of times, but the ending always leaves me with the same sunken feeling. The undefined conclusion is a clear reminder of where Dawn’s life is headed. You will probably laugh and be ashamed of it after watching this film, but you should see it just for the way Welcome to the Dollhouse deals with very serious situations, like rape, bullying, underage fantasies, sibling rivalry, and parental favoritism all through the eyes of an outcasted, suburban kid.

I had never seen a movie like it before, and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. As I summarized above, the film follows Dawn Wiener (Heather Matarazzo), the middle child of the Wiener family, living in suburban New Jersey. We are first introduced to her by a firsthand viewing of her distressing school life. We see her school locker, out of many, the only one in the halls graffiti-laden. Very early we can presume her school life is crappy. But home isn't any better. 

(***Spoilers Below***)

If there ever was a film that showed middle child woes, it was this. Dawn has an older brother Mark, and a younger sister Missy. Her sister is the family favorite, and Mark is the geeky, musician nerd that his parents respect, but put pressure on. Dawn is shown absolutely no love and rarely gets any positive attention. You may find yourself disliking her mother quite early—she is the cruelest adult in Dawn's life. In a nail-biting scene, she forces Dawn to stay up all night for not agreeing to a chore. But in fact, none of the adults in her life show any compassion towards her, and some of her mentors contribute to the torment she deals with. We get a glimpse of how invasive and humiliating her bullying is, when she is forced to do an extremely personal act in the presence of one of her bullies.

Half way into the film we see that Dawn has a tormenting life at home and school, and no one to truly confide in, but her one friend Ralphy, who she mistreats. Her only escape is a backyard clubhouse where she keeps a shrine for one of her crushes—Steve Rodgers, a friend of Mark. Steve is the prototypical 70s hippie trapped in the 90s. He's good looking, smooth, a great singer, and has the independence and confidence that Dawn seeks. She's fascinated with everything he says and does. Her obsession with him hopes that he will fall in love and run away with her. He's her White Knight.

Despite all that Dawn faces, she's still a tough kid. She gives the viewers hope that her situation will get better. She stands up for herself against a few times, even bruising the ego of Brandon—one of her bullies. In the most disturbing scene, he threatens Dawn with rape after school where she goes to meet him. When I first watched this film, I couldn't make sense as to why she agreed to actually meet him, but I now realize this was one of the stages of abuse.

Brandon actually turns out to be fond of Dawn and doesn't harm her in any form. But he's a troubled kid dealing with similar abuse in the home. The two find solace and comfort in each other and begin dating. This battered boy nevertheless, is bluntly honest and straightforward— he encourages Dawn towards independence. To Dawn, he epitomizes strength. However, their differences soon sink in. Dawn gets a firsthand perspective of Brandon's life when she unexpectedly visits his home. It's there she notices they are not as similar as they thought, and any fairy tale they imagined together was just a fantasy. Dawn matures greatly as the film progresses, and at some point she defies Brandon's persuasiveness in search of her own identity.

Dawn begins viewing her family in a different light. Brandon's home life showed her that someone else had it harder than her, and we see that she starts to appreciate her horrible family a bit more, but to no reciprocating avail. Near the ending of the film, we see how far Dawn takes her new frame of mind. She risks her well-being to save her sister from a life-threatening situation, and her family's response is anything more than what she already expected. It's heartbreaking.

The film ends with Dawn enroute on a choir trip, at what it seems, back to square one but with a bit of faith. Though, who knew it would take another abused, and troubled kid to help her appreciate her life, and a family unworthy of her yearning.

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Admittedly I was amused when I first saw this film. It is a comedy film after all, but there are some harsh things said that are very triggering and serious. I immediately sympathized with Dawn, but I found myself annoyed with some of her decisions. She did not bring the bullying on herself because she had no control over the teasing (ex: Wiener surname), but she certainly internalized it; her treatment of her sole friend Ralphy indicates that. She had a bit of her own anger issues, which almost reaches a fatal breaking point.

When Brandon redeemed his character in the oddest of ways, he wanted to run away with her. This seemed like an opportunity Dawn could take, but she rejected his offer. This is one of the best decisions she makes in the film. I think deep down she knew a life with Brandon would not last, even though she hated hers. Brandon exhibited lots of anger and jealousy issues in their short relationship, and Dawn knew that she still enjoyed a life of privilege compared to Brandon. His blues were not like hers.

Another problematic issue the film tackles is parental favoritism. Besides her brother Mark, there is no one in her family that considers her important or worthy of respect. Her parents only have eyes for Missy, and while Mark is not favored much,  he's smart which makes him beneficial. Dawn is just an extra family member to them—it reflects in her self-esteem and how she views herself. She knows her life doesn't matter. Even her younger sister uses the favoring to her advantage to further subjugate Dawn. This is the sole reason for Dawn's resentment towards Missy.

It's a great film. Welcome to the Dollhouse is sort of a PSA on the bullying we don't typically see or hear about and how brutal it can be. You may not have experienced the type of bullying Dawn went through, but you can probably relate to her frustrations. Dawn's character is brave and undaunted even in all her flaws. 

Job Search: To 'Self-Identify' or Not

Image: BrandonSigma

Job searching can be stressful. Even with the latest technological advances that facilitated the process, there's no feeling like the uneasiness that comes with putting yourself out there to find work. You're putting yourself to the test, reading job descriptions, and becoming self-critical of yourself as you wonder if you're over-qualified or under-qualified.
 
Aside from credentials, experience, or education, another factor people may worry about in applying for a job is their race and ethnic background. I occasionally hear or read interesting job hunt stories from close friends and others, and this is something I think about, but not something I have much experience in.
 
Discrimination is a common practice in the employment industry and even with laws against it, it occurs all the time. It usually has negative effects on marginalized people, specifically those of color. Every year I'm sure thousands of discrimination lawsuits are filed, and a majority of those lawsuits are typically filed by people who are, or have worked at the place of employment. But what about discrimination before getting a job? The tricky thing about discrimination in the job application process, is that you are not aware if someone is discriminating against you. I mean how would you know when so many factors are up to the plate?
 
You may think you're perfectly qualified for a job position, but the recruiter may not think so. And what is the reason why? And one can't say candidates aren't judged by their appearance or how they look, because why else is 'dress professionally' a commonplace stance for in-office interviews?
 
Perhaps that is why I'm hesitant when it comes to self-identifying myself on applications.
 
A few months ago came across an job opening that I wanted to apply for. I clicked the link and was directed to the company's website. I scanned the entire webpage before I entering any information and glanced at the job description again, and saw the details of the application as I scrolled. It was your typical job application page, then I got to the very bottom, and I saw not one, but two questions about self-identification.
 
So upon uploading, entering, and submitting information for the job position, it asks the applicant to voluntarily include their gender, ethnicity, and race. Keyword: voluntary.
 
I thought nothing of it until I wondered how much does this information really matter? I know that self-identification can be used for statistical purposes, and is even used to prevent discrimination, specifically against minorities. Still, I'm not so naive that this need to know an applicants self-identification isn't used to also prevent certain applicants. It reminded me a job interview I once had. The interview was a phone one and the process went great. The recruiter was very interested in my skills and blah blah, and asked me to come into the office for a more formal interview. I accepted and went.
 
Now I'm a very observant person, so when I got there I took note of my surroundings particularly the people there—I noticed something (explained below).
 
Long story short, the face-to-face interview went well and I never heard back from the recruiter or the company. It wasn't until a good month later after reading an article about job discrimination contributing to unemployment did I wonder....hey, it's possible. I will never know for sure, and in no way would I say my race or ethnicity was the reason why I never got a callback, but the likelihood lingers. Out of all the interviews I've ever went to, that was the first time I even had the thought. Whose to say the recruiter didn't think I was qualified for particular reasons? Is it possible I was judged by other things? This is an answer to a question one can never know, and I'll never know why I didn't get the job.
 
I mentioned previously, that in my observations I noticed something—it was the employees. Many of them looked the same; a good percentage of them shared the same gender, race, and so it seemed—religion. I fit neither three. It's possible the recruiter thought I just would not have fit in with the crowd.
 
Self-identify? Let them know who you are by your most easily identifiable physical descriptors, or don't tell them at all? I'm indifferent.
 
Everyday I'm reminded of the stereotypes and misconceptions that plague my race. I get the microagressive reminders from everyday people like doctors, store clerks, random strangers, or co-workers. So when I send in an application detailing who I am from my gender to my race, who is to say a preconceived notion isn't signaling an unfavorable assumption in that recruiters head? I'm not blind to what is out there. Just type black + women on any search engine and see what comes up, or is suggested for that matter. Do you really know if they're taking your self-identification information into account for positive reasons or negatives ones? One can wonder.

Before You Say Black People Can't or Don't Swim...

Image courtesy of franky242

Black people can't swim is one of the many racial stereotypes associated with Black people— possibly due to the lack of brown faces seen taking part in major swimming activities. But as the saying goes, stereotypes are true to an extent. I personally don't believe in this especially considering how and why they are formed, but that is a topic by itself. In this particular case, this is not always in control of the stereotyped group. But again I'd say majority of the stereotypes about Blacks were almost never in their control.

It was not long ago in America that legal laws were created to not just segregate whites from non-whites, but to actively bar and prohibit certain groups of people from enjoying even the most basic of fun-filled hobbies. Segregation in the the U.S. was the norm post Civil War, particularly the South. Many establishments were not open to non-White Anglo's (ex: Irish and Italians). Everything from bars, theaters, restaurants, department stores, clubs, and yes, swimming pools and beaches, were not open to Blacks or non-Anglos alike. What was available in many cases, were destitute places deemed unsuitable for Whites. That in turn caused Blacks to create their own settings, but due to lack of economic power, many Black establishments lacked—but they continued to strive due to the demand. Black people just wanted to have fun and enjoy recreation but the segregation of pools and beaches would prove to have some obvious lasting effects.

The few beaches Blacks were legally allowed, were routinely called Ink Well, based off a racist implication that if Black people swum, the water would turn dark like ink because of their skin color. Apparently, Black people contaminated these waters, but that was just one of the endless dehumanizing terms describing all things Black. When the push for desegregation became more and more political, opposition came from everywhere. Segregationists did not agree or like the idea of integration. It threatened their privilege and the power they held on to. Blacks who dared to want entry to White's Only establishments were met with violence. This included being attacked by angry mobs, having dogs sicked on them, having authorities remove and arrest them, or even worse—death. When there were opportunities for integration, segregationists would find ways to prevent them. Post-integration, White's Only establishments became private ones.

In this most horrifying photo below, a man is seen throwing bleach into a pool of Black youth swimming.

One can assume from this photo, how traumatic that experience could have been for these kids, and what fear came afterwards.

Fear of swimming and lack of experience are highly possible reasons as to why Black people, or people in general can't swim. But back to the actual stereotype. It may seem like harmless joke at first, but when Black people are drowning at higher rates than other races, it becomes a serious matter. There have been tragic incidents in the last few years of black teens drowning in water. 

In 2010, six Louisiana teens—six—drowned trying to save a friend who was also drowning. It was revealed that none of the teens knew how to swim. Six young bodies were pulled from the water and none lived. It was the most horrific tragedy, meanwhile statistics show that an estimated 70 percent of Black children can't swim, or have limited swimming ability (self-taught swimmers). Most recently, a New York teen drowned while on a field trip. 

Culture is created based on what those before left behind and how it continued or evolved. Swimming wasn't a go-to activity for many Blacks, not because they were scared of actual water, or even sillier, can't get their hair wet. Many Black families eventually avoided going or trying to gain access to beaches or pools due to prohibition. So how else were their children supposed to learn and experience swimming? Research even showed that if a parent doesn't know how to swim, the likelihood their child would know is at 13 percent. That number is extremely low but makes sense in terms of why Blacks drown at higher rates than Whites, especially given the history of access to water-leisure—it's generational. These children grew up, and while things changed, they didn't form the ambition to go swimming, and neither did their children, and their children.

Do you see where I'm going? Generations passed without swimming being a thing lots of Black people did, leading to not enough awareness or importance being placed on the need to swim. But although that is changing, and there have always been Black people that could swim (hello Caribbean/Sub-Saharan Africa), it has never been about race but accessibility and economics, and how the lack of it can affect cultural trends. Because drowning transcends race. Many Americans admit to not knowing how to swim. It doesn't erase the racial disparity, but it brings light to swimming being something many people may not see as a necessity, while it is. It's a skill everyone should have. And though segregated pools are over, what is the excuse today? It may still be fear, as well as generational transfer.

Olympic swimmer Cullen Jones has talked and campaigned about getting more Black children to learn how to swim. The Make a Splash initiative works to end disparity and drowning in children overall.

Protestors being fire-hosed in iconic Charles Moore photo

So before you say Black people can't or don't swim, first understand how it was ridiculously difficult for them to enjoy water leisure activities due to segregation. Understand how that affected the reason swimming may have never became an activity they participated in. Also consider how it affected cultural trends, and think where the fear of swimming would come from? Also remember that water (fire hoses) were used to attack Black people, which included young children.

To just assume Black people don't swim without consideration of their history, you are engaging in a racial stereotype which formed from disenfranchisement, and you're also dismissing that an estimated 36% of Americans can't swim.