That Package: Motherhood, Society, and Resistance

Image courtesy: duron123

At twenty-three years of age, the thought of motherhood is so far in the back of my mind. I cannot recall a time in my childhood or adolescence, where I seriously thought of having a child when I grew older. Of course at those ages, no child would be certain of what direction their life would head in, but looking back, I could still say no; I was not crazy about being a mother.
 
During high school the fact became clearer. Teen pregnancy was rampant, and there were so many girls I knew and had class with, that got pregnant and never showed up to school again. I promised I would never get pregnant as a teen, or even into my early twenties — some wishful thinking.

Fast forward - here I am and the fact still remains: I'm not crazy about becoming a mother. It does make me wonder sometimes whether society, family, or my personality among other things, concluded this decision for me. Various phobia's and my self-worth are other factors that contribute to these feelings, but an unexpected package at my doorstep last week would reaffirm this for me, once again.

I woke up one morning last week and discovered a box at my door. It had my name on it and address. But I didn't order anything. I hadn't ordered anything in months. What also came as a surprise to me was what was written on the box. It read: Similac Strong Moms?! Umm...what? Never mind that a few weeks prior, I had an identity theft scare, in which my business email was hacked and someone had used my name and personal information to seek mortgage consulting, and even viewed Amazon gift cards. After extensively changing and securing all of my passwords, my stomach sank and figured that this someone used my information to order a package I did not want. Then I thought, why would I receive it? Wouldn't they order something that they would receive?

After calming down, checking bank accounts and realizing that no orders had been unknowingly made, I wondered whether the box was a sample delivery. I looked at the box again and examined it. Yes, indeed it was a free sample offer. But why? I was not a mother, nor an expectant one.

I quickly reminded myself that obviously women in my age group are becoming new mothers and perhaps Similac figured, why not send a free gift to a possible future customer (or mother). I was half-relieved (that no one ordered this on my account) and half-insulted (yup).

Insulted because, in today's society there are a lot of expectations of women. But women now have more options. A woman can live a carefree and independent life in ways that their foremother's could not. Motherhood is a choice. So why do I feel like I'm being suffocated with it? That package was just one in the long line of pregnancy encouragement and pressure I've experienced.

While some may say that women were created to reproduce, there's no obligation. For this reason, it scares me how some politicians want to do-away with the reproductive rights of women. Stripping women of rights that will reverse many achievements, can create a dramatic shift in how women deal with their sexual health choices, and society. As if we need anymore ways to step backwards. Imagine that after all these decades of improvements (albeit some unnatural) in women's health, for it to only be banned?

I should clarify that I was only bothered by the package because I knew it was sent to encourage me buy their product, as well as the hidden expectation that I may have a child. This may come across as over-dramatic or sensitive, but when society and especially your family, constantly question you on your reproductive choices, the topic of motherhood becomes very detestable.

The likelihood of me becoming a mother in the future is uncertain (maybe yes, maybe no). I will continue resisting and hope that any chance of me becoming a mother in the near future is not a result of compliance or fear, but one of MY choice.

In the meantime, I'll save that package for someone who may need it. Not me of course, ha.

I Support Obama on Gay Marriage

President Obama made headlines this week when he announced in an exclusive ABC interview with Robin Roberts, that "same-sex couples should be allowed to marry." Naturally, there's no way a sitting President's comments about gays, especially in the age of evolving social media, would go by undetected. Especially since gay marriage is a hot topic on political forums.

Obama's remarks has made him the first President in the history of the U.S., to clarify a stance on gay marriage. I was not quite shocked to hear of his approval. I feel that the new generations of Americans have become more progressive in their thinking and are not just tolerant, but accepting.

I support Obama's comments because it will take the country in the right direction. The direction of what this country stands for—land of the free. The old traditional values that several Americans want to return to or enforce, will disrupt the rhythm of moving forward. I do not believe there's something wrong with not believing in or supporting homosexuality, but what exactly are gays and lesbians doing to their non-supporters that makes them unable to see how their sexual preference doesn't affect them? I used to think it was an issue for me too, but it's not and never will be!

How society responded to homosexuality fifty years ago, is a vast difference from how many view it today. But even still, gay slurs are common insults, hate crimes towards homosexuals are not often prosecuted as hate crimes, and the revelation of 'coming out' is still an issue (when it shouldn't be).

I'm glad that my home state approved gay marriage last year. I would love to see everyone receive equal rights regardless of their race, gender, ethnicity, or sexuality. Any President that is vocal about these issues, is one that will take the country in the right direction.