A Tech Down Memory Lane

I'm glad I did not grow up in this generation of young kids today. I may have forgotten a lot of things I grew up with, but sometimes, all it takes is a little hint for me to remember, and suddenly I'm reminded by how fast technology has advanced in such few years.

A while ago I scrolled through my Tumblr dashboard, and I saw a photo of a device that was all too common, but vital to my learning experience all through elementary to H.S. I couldn't remember the name of it, but what I found funny was the caption, which mentioned that the existence of the device would fly over the heads of a lot of kids on Tumblr—which is true since Tumblr's users mostly seem to be made up of teens.

I eventually remembered the name of the device by the way, and it was an overhead projector. I don't even think kids born after 2000 even know what this is.

From elementary school up until H.S., this was one of the primary preferred multimedia device used to teach. Nowadays, more and more school children are being taught with tablets and eBook readers.

It got me thinking just how much technology has impacted and changed my life. I work in digital and social media; but it is not something I saw myself doing if you asked me five years ago. But an average work day consists of me being on a laptop, PC, phone or tablet, everyday to keep tabs on daily tasks.

Technology has facilitated my life in so many ways, and I don't know how I'd function without it this day in age. And the older I get, the more technological gadgets I add to my life. It's going to be interesting to see what's to come in another five years from now.

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Image from OVCA

This month is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. Ovarian cancer is cancer in the ovaries. It is one of the most invasive reproductive cancers, and it takes more lives than any other gynecological cancer.

It ranks fifth as the most cancerous death in women. The American Cancer Society (ACS) estimates that in 2013 there will be over 20,000 new cases of ovarian cancer. The risks for this type of cancer are high and it’s usually detected in older age. Which is why it’s important to raise awareness and be conscious of its risks the earliest.

I wrote more about it. Read more.

Fall 2013 Watchlist

Returning shows

BoardWalk Empire—My favorite HBO show is back. 'Nuff said. Hopefully my favorite characters (Chalky, Van Alden, and Richard) get more screen-time this time around.




Nashville—I caught wind of this country-music drama some weeks before its premiere. The show follows two popular country stars, Rayna Jaymes and Juliette Barnes, fighting for the throne of relevancy in Nashville. Heartbreak, competition, love-torn, greed, backstabbing, corruption, murder, and deception are some of the many themes on this show. It actually makes it what it is. It exceeded my expectations, but I'm so glad it was renewed for a second season and is back for another go.





Scandal—The fast-paced political-drama following a juicy riske affair is back. As an avid fan of the show since it's debut, I'm thrilled m show is back again. With the bombshell secret revealed in season two's finale, gladiators (fandom) may get answers that from unexplained questions since season one.




The Walking Dead—Cable's popular and highly-rated post-apocalyptic show returns for a fourth season, but with more complex stories this season just judging by the trailer. It's only time the narrative changes, as Rick and the group begin to grow, but also get smaller, meanwhile there's still no sign of refuge. I imagine (and hope) season four deals with more interpersonal relationships, and show how much stronger or weaker the bond between the group has grown.



Revolution—NBC returns with their post-apocalyptic show for a second season. The follows life after an irreversible orchestrated Blackout 15 years prior. The show saw praise in the first half of its season, but didn't garner the same ratings after it's mighty long hiatus for mid-season premiere. Now that the blackout is reportedly over, or so it seems, how is society now functioning. And was Aaron successful in aborting a destructive scheme?



New Shows 

Sleep Hollow—This new supernatural sci-fi show is based on the book of the classic tale. However, the show is retelling the story in a modern day setting. Nicole Beharie stars in this show. It's important that she is the lead actress (keyword: lead), as that is not easy to come by when it comes to network TV shows and women of color. This show is the most highly anticipated fall show for me.




Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D—I hope it's as great as it looks. What's not to like about action-hero shows?



Dracula— I'm anticipating this show as well. Plus, it stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers; one of my favorite actors.



Once Upon a Time in Wonderland— I like the tale of Alice in Wonderland and watched countless adaptions. Perhaps I may or may not like this show, but I'd like to watch it before I make any criticism.



Another new show I may watch is Cold Justice, a crime reality-show.

Welcome to the Dollhouse: Film Review

Welcome to the Dollhouse poster

Recently I wrote about 3 Coming-of-Age Indie films I'd recommend for viewing, specifically for women to watch. You can read the brief reviews here.

One of the films I recommended was Welcome to the Dollhouse, an eye-opening film remarking on bullying and abuse. I've interpreted the film quite differently over the years. It's a classic fave of mine and I detail how I now view the film. First, here's a brief summary:

This dark comedy [...] was one of the many great indie films of the ’90s. This film is probably the most memorable indie film I enjoyed as a pre-teen. While some of the dialogue in this film may be deemed disturbing, especially given the age I saw it, I was rather intrigued than terrified. I was also very sympathetic to the main character, Dawn. The film vividly shows some of the most cruel bullying that takes place in American schools, and how that affected Dawn in school and at home. Dawn’s awkwardness is something many of us could relate to growing up, and you may even see yourself through the relentless verbal and physical abuse she faces. As the reality of her miserable life ensues throughout the film, one of her tormentors, who is a troubled boy, makes way into her life. The troubled kid somehow gives her a different outlook and takes a romantic interest in her, even as she crushes on Steve, an older guy friend she wishes to run away with. The film also proficiently tackles the bullying that can take place in the home from the parents. I’ve seen this film plenty of times, but the ending always leaves me with the same sunken feeling. The undefined conclusion is a clear reminder of where Dawn’s life is headed. You will probably laugh and be ashamed of it after watching this film, but you should see it just for the way Welcome to the Dollhouse deals with very serious situations, like rape, bullying, underage fantasies, sibling rivalry, and parental favoritism all through the eyes of an outcasted, suburban kid.

I had never seen a movie like it before, and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. As I summarized above, the film follows Dawn Wiener (Heather Matarazzo), the middle child of the Wiener family, living in suburban New Jersey. We are first introduced to her by a firsthand viewing of her distressing school life. We see her school locker, out of many, the only one in the halls graffiti-laden. Very early we can presume her school life is crappy. But home isn't any better. 

(***Spoilers Below***)

If there ever was a film that showed middle child woes, it was this. Dawn has an older brother Mark, and a younger sister Missy. Her sister is the family favorite, and Mark is the geeky, musician nerd that his parents respect, but put pressure on. Dawn is shown absolutely no love and rarely gets any positive attention. You may find yourself disliking her mother quite early—she is the cruelest adult in Dawn's life. In a nail-biting scene, she forces Dawn to stay up all night for not agreeing to a chore. But in fact, none of the adults in her life show any compassion towards her, and some of her mentors contribute to the torment she deals with. We get a glimpse of how invasive and humiliating her bullying is, when she is forced to do an extremely personal act in the presence of one of her bullies.

Half way into the film we see that Dawn has a tormenting life at home and school, and no one to truly confide in, but her one friend Ralphy, who she mistreats. Her only escape is a backyard clubhouse where she keeps a shrine for one of her crushes—Steve Rodgers, a friend of Mark. Steve is the prototypical 70s hippie trapped in the 90s. He's good looking, smooth, a great singer, and has the independence and confidence that Dawn seeks. She's fascinated with everything he says and does. Her obsession with him hopes that he will fall in love and run away with her. He's her White Knight.

Despite all that Dawn faces, she's still a tough kid. She gives the viewers hope that her situation will get better. She stands up for herself against a few times, even bruising the ego of Brandon—one of her bullies. In the most disturbing scene, he threatens Dawn with rape after school where she goes to meet him. When I first watched this film, I couldn't make sense as to why she agreed to actually meet him, but I now realize this was one of the stages of abuse.

Brandon actually turns out to be fond of Dawn and doesn't harm her in any form. But he's a troubled kid dealing with similar abuse in the home. The two find solace and comfort in each other and begin dating. This battered boy nevertheless, is bluntly honest and straightforward— he encourages Dawn towards independence. To Dawn, he epitomizes strength. However, their differences soon sink in. Dawn gets a firsthand perspective of Brandon's life when she unexpectedly visits his home. It's there she notices they are not as similar as they thought, and any fairy tale they imagined together was just a fantasy. Dawn matures greatly as the film progresses, and at some point she defies Brandon's persuasiveness in search of her own identity.

Dawn begins viewing her family in a different light. Brandon's home life showed her that someone else had it harder than her, and we see that she starts to appreciate her horrible family a bit more, but to no reciprocating avail. Near the ending of the film, we see how far Dawn takes her new frame of mind. She risks her well-being to save her sister from a life-threatening situation, and her family's response is anything more than what she already expected. It's heartbreaking.

The film ends with Dawn enroute on a choir trip, at what it seems, back to square one but with a bit of faith. Though, who knew it would take another abused, and troubled kid to help her appreciate her life, and a family unworthy of her yearning.

----------------

Admittedly I was amused when I first saw this film. It is a comedy film after all, but there are some harsh things said that are very triggering and serious. I immediately sympathized with Dawn, but I found myself annoyed with some of her decisions. She did not bring the bullying on herself because she had no control over the teasing (ex: Wiener surname), but she certainly internalized it; her treatment of her sole friend Ralphy indicates that. She had a bit of her own anger issues, which almost reaches a fatal breaking point.

When Brandon redeemed his character in the oddest of ways, he wanted to run away with her. This seemed like an opportunity Dawn could take, but she rejected his offer. This is one of the best decisions she makes in the film. I think deep down she knew a life with Brandon would not last, even though she hated hers. Brandon exhibited lots of anger and jealousy issues in their short relationship, and Dawn knew that she still enjoyed a life of privilege compared to Brandon. His blues were not like hers.

Another problematic issue the film tackles is parental favoritism. Besides her brother Mark, there is no one in her family that considers her important or worthy of respect. Her parents only have eyes for Missy, and while Mark is not favored much,  he's smart which makes him beneficial. Dawn is just an extra family member to them—it reflects in her self-esteem and how she views herself. She knows her life doesn't matter. Even her younger sister uses the favoring to her advantage to further subjugate Dawn. This is the sole reason for Dawn's resentment towards Missy.

It's a great film. Welcome to the Dollhouse is sort of a PSA on the bullying we don't typically see or hear about and how brutal it can be. You may not have experienced the type of bullying Dawn went through, but you can probably relate to her frustrations. Dawn's character is brave and undaunted even in all her flaws. 

Job Search: To 'Self-Identify' or Not

Image: BrandonSigma

Job searching can be stressful. Even with the latest technological advances that facilitated the process, there's no feeling like the uneasiness that comes with putting yourself out there to find work. You're putting yourself to the test, reading job descriptions, and becoming self-critical of yourself as you wonder if you're over-qualified or under-qualified.
 
Aside from credentials, experience, or education, another factor people may worry about in applying for a job is their race and ethnic background. I occasionally hear or read interesting job hunt stories from close friends and others, and this is something I think about, but not something I have much experience in.
 
Discrimination is a common practice in the employment industry and even with laws against it, it occurs all the time. It usually has negative effects on marginalized people, specifically those of color. Every year I'm sure thousands of discrimination lawsuits are filed, and a majority of those lawsuits are typically filed by people who are, or have worked at the place of employment. But what about discrimination before getting a job? The tricky thing about discrimination in the job application process, is that you are not aware if someone is discriminating against you. I mean how would you know when so many factors are up to the plate?
 
You may think you're perfectly qualified for a job position, but the recruiter may not think so. And what is the reason why? And one can't say candidates aren't judged by their appearance or how they look, because why else is 'dress professionally' a commonplace stance for in-office interviews?
 
Perhaps that is why I'm hesitant when it comes to self-identifying myself on applications.
 
A few months ago came across an job opening that I wanted to apply for. I clicked the link and was directed to the company's website. I scanned the entire webpage before I entering any information and glanced at the job description again, and saw the details of the application as I scrolled. It was your typical job application page, then I got to the very bottom, and I saw not one, but two questions about self-identification.
 
So upon uploading, entering, and submitting information for the job position, it asks the applicant to voluntarily include their gender, ethnicity, and race. Keyword: voluntary.
 
I thought nothing of it until I wondered how much does this information really matter? I know that self-identification can be used for statistical purposes, and is even used to prevent discrimination, specifically against minorities. Still, I'm not so naive that this need to know an applicants self-identification isn't used to also prevent certain applicants. It reminded me a job interview I once had. The interview was a phone one and the process went great. The recruiter was very interested in my skills and blah blah, and asked me to come into the office for a more formal interview. I accepted and went.
 
Now I'm a very observant person, so when I got there I took note of my surroundings particularly the people there—I noticed something (explained below).
 
Long story short, the face-to-face interview went well and I never heard back from the recruiter or the company. It wasn't until a good month later after reading an article about job discrimination contributing to unemployment did I wonder....hey, it's possible. I will never know for sure, and in no way would I say my race or ethnicity was the reason why I never got a callback, but the likelihood lingers. Out of all the interviews I've ever went to, that was the first time I even had the thought. Whose to say the recruiter didn't think I was qualified for particular reasons? Is it possible I was judged by other things? This is an answer to a question one can never know, and I'll never know why I didn't get the job.
 
I mentioned previously, that in my observations I noticed something—it was the employees. Many of them looked the same; a good percentage of them shared the same gender, race, and so it seemed—religion. I fit neither three. It's possible the recruiter thought I just would not have fit in with the crowd.
 
Self-identify? Let them know who you are by your most easily identifiable physical descriptors, or don't tell them at all? I'm indifferent.
 
Everyday I'm reminded of the stereotypes and misconceptions that plague my race. I get the microagressive reminders from everyday people like doctors, store clerks, random strangers, or co-workers. So when I send in an application detailing who I am from my gender to my race, who is to say a preconceived notion isn't signaling an unfavorable assumption in that recruiters head? I'm not blind to what is out there. Just type black + women on any search engine and see what comes up, or is suggested for that matter. Do you really know if they're taking your self-identification information into account for positive reasons or negatives ones? One can wonder.

Before You Say Black People Can't or Don't Swim...

Image courtesy of franky242

Black people can't swim is one of the many racial stereotypes associated with Black people— possibly due to the lack of brown faces seen taking part in major swimming activities. But as the saying goes, stereotypes are true to an extent. I personally don't believe in this especially considering how and why they are formed, but that is a topic by itself. In this particular case, this is not always in control of the stereotyped group. But again I'd say majority of the stereotypes about Blacks were almost never in their control.

It was not long ago in America that legal laws were created to not just segregate whites from non-whites, but to actively bar and prohibit certain groups of people from enjoying even the most basic of fun-filled hobbies. Segregation in the the U.S. was the norm post Civil War, particularly the South. Many establishments were not open to non-White Anglo's (ex: Irish and Italians). Everything from bars, theaters, restaurants, department stores, clubs, and yes, swimming pools and beaches, were not open to Blacks or non-Anglos alike. What was available in many cases, were destitute places deemed unsuitable for Whites. That in turn caused Blacks to create their own settings, but due to lack of economic power, many Black establishments lacked—but they continued to strive due to the demand. Black people just wanted to have fun and enjoy recreation but the segregation of pools and beaches would prove to have some obvious lasting effects.

The few beaches Blacks were legally allowed, were routinely called Ink Well, based off a racist implication that if Black people swum, the water would turn dark like ink because of their skin color. Apparently, Black people contaminated these waters, but that was just one of the endless dehumanizing terms describing all things Black. When the push for desegregation became more and more political, opposition came from everywhere. Segregationists did not agree or like the idea of integration. It threatened their privilege and the power they held on to. Blacks who dared to want entry to White's Only establishments were met with violence. This included being attacked by angry mobs, having dogs sicked on them, having authorities remove and arrest them, or even worse—death. When there were opportunities for integration, segregationists would find ways to prevent them. Post-integration, White's Only establishments became private ones.

In this most horrifying photo below, a man is seen throwing bleach into a pool of Black youth swimming.

One can assume from this photo, how traumatic that experience could have been for these kids, and what fear came afterwards.

Fear of swimming and lack of experience are highly possible reasons as to why Black people, or people in general can't swim. But back to the actual stereotype. It may seem like harmless joke at first, but when Black people are drowning at higher rates than other races, it becomes a serious matter. There have been tragic incidents in the last few years of black teens drowning in water. 

In 2010, six Louisiana teens—six—drowned trying to save a friend who was also drowning. It was revealed that none of the teens knew how to swim. Six young bodies were pulled from the water and none lived. It was the most horrific tragedy, meanwhile statistics show that an estimated 70 percent of Black children can't swim, or have limited swimming ability (self-taught swimmers). Most recently, a New York teen drowned while on a field trip. 

Culture is created based on what those before left behind and how it continued or evolved. Swimming wasn't a go-to activity for many Blacks, not because they were scared of actual water, or even sillier, can't get their hair wet. Many Black families eventually avoided going or trying to gain access to beaches or pools due to prohibition. So how else were their children supposed to learn and experience swimming? Research even showed that if a parent doesn't know how to swim, the likelihood their child would know is at 13 percent. That number is extremely low but makes sense in terms of why Blacks drown at higher rates than Whites, especially given the history of access to water-leisure—it's generational. These children grew up, and while things changed, they didn't form the ambition to go swimming, and neither did their children, and their children.

Do you see where I'm going? Generations passed without swimming being a thing lots of Black people did, leading to not enough awareness or importance being placed on the need to swim. But although that is changing, and there have always been Black people that could swim (hello Caribbean/Sub-Saharan Africa), it has never been about race but accessibility and economics, and how the lack of it can affect cultural trends. Because drowning transcends race. Many Americans admit to not knowing how to swim. It doesn't erase the racial disparity, but it brings light to swimming being something many people may not see as a necessity, while it is. It's a skill everyone should have. And though segregated pools are over, what is the excuse today? It may still be fear, as well as generational transfer.

Olympic swimmer Cullen Jones has talked and campaigned about getting more Black children to learn how to swim. The Make a Splash initiative works to end disparity and drowning in children overall.

Protestors being fire-hosed in iconic Charles Moore photo

So before you say Black people can't or don't swim, first understand how it was ridiculously difficult for them to enjoy water leisure activities due to segregation. Understand how that affected the reason swimming may have never became an activity they participated in. Also consider how it affected cultural trends, and think where the fear of swimming would come from? Also remember that water (fire hoses) were used to attack Black people, which included young children.

To just assume Black people don't swim without consideration of their history, you are engaging in a racial stereotype which formed from disenfranchisement, and you're also dismissing that an estimated 36% of Americans can't swim.

White Girls Using N-Word....

....or non-Black people using the word for that matter.

I found this video about the N-word going around. In the video a Black woman denounces the usage of the N-word from two White female rappers who stirred ire by using it in their music a few years ago.

I'm not shy about the topic of the N-word, so heed that it will not be entirely censored in this post. 

Nigger, nigga, and negro have long been associated with the word Black and people who bare the description. In fact, they are synonymous whether people choose to admit that or not. What many in the Anglophone world know the word nigger as, is as a racial slur. Nigger without a doubt is one of the most offensive terms in the English language. But there's more of course; there's also spook, coon, pickaninny, sow, and a bevy of nasty words used to denigrate Black people.

The etymology of the word explains that it comes from the word niger, which in Latin means black or dark. Regardless of what this word used to mean, it eventually took on a different meaning in the 17th century, a meaning where it became a word that would be used to degrade the humanity of Black people.

Black people who are descendants of enslaved Africans brought to the colonies have called themselves different terms as years progressed. The last and currently accepted term was African-American, which gained popular usage in the '80s. Prior to that, colored or negro were the accepted terms. Derogatorily however, nigger was always the term used to call blacks, and it was not nor has it ever been an endearing or acceptable term to call Black people. Herein is my issue with echoing retorts that Black people should find no offense with the word due to the usage of it from Black entertainers (comedians/rappers), and some Black people overall who've incorporated the term into their everyday language.

Removing my own personal irritation with the word, I see why some Black people use the term. Some people seem to think that rap music and hip-hop began the reemergence and coining of the word as an endearing term. But the word has always been used against and amongst Blacks—music only popularized it and it DID NOT frickin' start with rap. Any avid listener of soul, blues, funk, or any Black American oldies genre can tell you it has always been used in Black music. The word may have also been a prerequisite for how often it was dropped in Blaxploitation films.

In its current usage, many Black people see it as an endearing term to use amongst themselves. I do not agree with it, however, it only makes sense why despite the words popularity in pop-culture, a lot of Black people do not like to hear non-Blacks use the word. The reason is simple—Black people referring to each other as nigga takes the offense out of the word. Why? Because of its irony. (This doesn't mean there aren't Black people who would be offended though). Non-Blacks, specifically racist Whites, have never used this term in a kind way towards Blacks. It has always been an offensive term used to refer to Black people. Whether someone non-Black might want to feel a closer connection to Blacks by also trying to use it endearingly, they should understand the racial dichotomy is still there and has always been. The negative connotation comes with the power structure White supremacy constructed, which is White/Light against Black/Dark; never the opposite. The "N-word" is triggering for a lot of English-speaking Black folks, and in a lot of cases, the N-word was the last thing Black people heard from racists before being lynched or murdered. So why would someone non-Black want to use it?

Black people have reclaimed the N-word, just as other minority or oppressed groups have with slurs targeted at them. Some women reclaim 'bitch,' and some in the LGBT community reclaim 'fag' or 'homo.' People in these groups using offensive slurs towards each other is ironic. No if, ands, or buts. If you're not Black, you have no right to dictate or police how Black people choose to talk with each other with the word. Because guess what? It's not even in the vocabulary of every Black person. You do however, have the right to correct and take offense by a Black person calling you the N-word if you are referred to as such. Despite the normalizing of the N-word, it's still not a word many people accept.

For non-White minorities who also want to use the word.....no, no, and nope! Being a "minority too" doesn't give you a pass. Please! It's always eye-opening for me to see self-identified 'Spanish' or Asians use the N-word, but flip at the thought of Blacks using anti-Asian/Latino slurs, and then in turn use the N-word again. In NYC where I live, I hear it from non-Black minorities a lot. My question to them is, you have your own racial slurs to reclaim, why do you want to use one that would never affect you? Especially when in some of your cultures, anti-Blackness is almost as common as brushing your teeth. Let's not also ignore that there are also N-word equivalents in your native languages.

You want me to be cool with you saying nigga when you and yours turn around and call me preta? No.

And your Black friends giving you a non-existent pass isn't sound advice to live by. Not every Black person is cool with that notion and you don't know how they'll react. Why? Because we aren't all the same. Just because Black Friend #1 and Black Friend #2 allow you say it around them, Random Black #345 is supposed to be OK with that? Where is the common sense? Does anyone talk to their friends, the way they talk with their parents? Do you joke with strangers the way you joke to your partner? Please! Don't expect people to be comfortable with terms that you use daily because your friends are OK with it. Anyone with good social skills should already know this. Besides, when negative terms are used among friends, I'd assume it was negotiated prior.

I'm also not a fan of Black people calling me the N-word, or my girl friends calling me the B-word, or any other slur. It's not a word I use to call other Blacks, and I choose not to use it because there are other words I choose to use because I know it's usage is brings mixed reactions. I don't buy into the "ER" or "A," analogy either, which posits which version is offensive: niggER or niggA. I feel that a lot of Black people will tell you they are saying nigga, and the ER is not emphasized in pronunciation, allowing some offense to be removed. So the word in essence has evolved:

niger > nigger > nigga

Still, that does not mean that all Black people are comfortable with the word, which is where the "debate" should end. If someone doesn't want you calling them something they don't like, it should be respected. There is no special privilege gained when Black people use the N-word amongst themselves. So the anger towards some Blacks for wanting to use it, and the challenging from non-Blacks who want to use it as well is silly. The "If they can say it, why can't we" retort is flawed logic. Historically, racists have always used this word. It was invented by the British, enforced by WASP's, and exercised by racist Americans. To feel like you're having your rights denied to you because you can't say a frickin' degrading word that has been used pejoratively is whiny, insolent and pathetic. You'd also be delusional for even feeling like your rights are being slighted when it doesn't begin to describe the stereotypes and stigma that plague Black people.

As much as I detest to the popularity of the N-word, I am not going to police how other Black people choose to use it. I know and see why they do and it's always been used among them. If calling themselves the N-word is takes offense out of the word, they should be allowed that. Let oppressed groups use those terms and redefine them amongst themselves. It's not affecting you and never has.  

In agreement with the Black woman in the video, I also say no to White girls using the N-word. Not just with them either, but also non-Black people and Black people using the word. If you want to say it the N-word, then please take the struggles and stereotypes that come with being a nigga too. I promise the word won't seem so catchy then.